T’was the night before Christmas when all through my car
My admit was strewn on the way to the bar
So clear and concise my voice mail recording
‘You want me to WHAT??? You’ve got to be kidding!’
My patients had meds, their pain was relieved
Compliance so great, I couldn’t believe
No forms to complete for infections or falls
The director of nursing unable to call
When out from the parking lot arose such a blast
I had to go see what was happening fast
A walker, a cane, an electronic wheelchair
Complete with my patients were all waiting there
One and two handed devices they used
O2 compressors and shared verbal cues
Diabetics, arthritics, COPDers alike
All came to invite me out into the night
The driver, a masked man, or maybe a woman
Had rales in his chest and coughed up a lung
It seemed to this tired and cranky cold nurse
That he was in failure or possibly worse
Bring Lasix, bring Lortab, Bring HCTZ
Lexapro, nitro and Claritin D
Such a vast taxing effort put forth by my patients
I was anxiously waiting in lurid suspense
I waited for pain and shortness of breath
Even a code leading right up to death
I waited for weight gain and med side effects
I knew something bad was on its way next
But calm took the place of quivering fear
As I saw all the patients holding me dear
Sipping Ensure and wishing good cheer
To me and to mine for the rest of the year.
No football or cabbage or stewed black eyed peas
For me or for mine come this New Year’s Eve
Patients to be discharged come January One
With written instructions to call 911